This is just hilariously depressing

While perusing the guidelines for my graduate program today, I came across these two interesting tidbits (keep in mind I'm in my 5th year right now):
















Oh BMS, you can recommend all you want, but I can tell you honestly that I will not be out of here by August 2009. Because of that whole "body of work accomplished is sufficient for a thesis" part.

Unless I just want to write a thesis of FAIL. I mean, I've had a committee meeting of FAIL before, and many lab meetings of FAIL. So why not a whole entire dissertation of FAIL?

Hmmmm.

(The actual interesting part is that at no point does it say I have to have a publication to get out of here. Huh. THAT might actually make things easier.)