Fuck You, Penguin
"I think the snake waited too long to eat the hampster because there were people watching, and now it's stuck in the friend zone. All they do is hang out and watch TV, and every time the snake says "Hey, wouldn't it be weird if I ate you?" the hamster is like "Haha, you're so funny" and changes the subject. So fuck you, Snake, for making people think world peace is achievable, when all you need to do is grow some balls."
Hilarious. Thanks to Nick for originally suggesting it. At a Cracker Barrel, no less.
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